I was, for the first 23 years of my life, a hobby hopper. A goal grazer. A passion peruser. I’d focus all of my energy on a fabulous new project, only to be distracted by another shiny object 3 weeks later. I worried that I was working on the wrong idea, so when a new one came up, I was all too eager to jump ship.
Until my coach grabbed my hand, yanked me back on deck, and helped me change this frustrating pattern. He challenged the hell outta me on this one, starting from the very first day, when he asked me to choose one goal to work on for the rest of our sessions.
…Seeeeriously? I cringed, groaned, and procrastinated as I had never procrastinated before. The day of session #2, after much deliberation, I finally decided: I would focus on meditation.
And focus, I did! I meditated every single day, 10 minutes per day as decided. Happy to report this news at my next session, I was surprised when my coach called out my commitment-phobia. How was I not committed? I meditated every day! …But I didn’t commit 100%. I didn’t follow the schedule I had drawn up, which was part of the agreement. I was, at least partly, opting out. Damn. If I was gonna do this, I’d better do it right.
Not totally convinced it wouldn’t kill me, I woke up early, interrupted my day, and spent precious feeding time meditating, just like I said I would.
Was it a pain in the ass? Surprisingly, no! It really wasn’t that bad; most days, I didn’t even have to give it a second thought. I just looked at the schedule…and followed it. You wanna know why?
They sound so cute, don’t they? And really, they are. They’re the most adorable way I’ve ever found to achieve my goals.
Committing to a goal is scary as hell for me. What if I don’t feel like doing it anymore? What if I don’t stick to it? I’m better off not committing in the first place – then I can’t disappoint myself.
But what if, instead of just taking on a goal with no end in sight, I set a mini-goal for myself? Instead of setting the goal of meditating [forever], I said I’d stick to that meditation schedule for the next 3 weeks?
Well…I’ll tell you what happens. I actually stick to it! Without too much struggle! I’d call that a mini-goal miracle.
Sometimes I still struggle with commitment-phobia. Hell, by session 3, I already wanted to know when it’d be time to switch to a new goal. But I’m way better with it than I was before, because I’ve proven to myself that I CAN commit.
- Decide on a goal. What the goal is doesn’t matter so much as you actually committing to it and achieving it. We’re just proving a point here, folks.
- Make it specific! What exactly do you want to do? For how long? What is your end goal? I’d suggest a short period of time initially, a couple of weeks or so. If I can do it, you totally can.
- STICK TO IT! No matter what. Tired that morning? Just don’t feel like it? Too bad, it’s just 2 weeks. Do it.
- Bask in your sense of accomplishment. You did it, you committed! Woohoo!!!
For me, commitment and mini-goals go hand in hand. There are few things I can imagine doing forever, but I can stick to nearly anything for 2 weeks. I recently finished up with a 2-week mini-goal of working out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Do that forever? Hell to the no. Do it for 2 weeks? Sure!
What can you commit to [for the next 2 weeks]?
Keep an eye out Wednesday for part 2 of how coaching changed my life. Til then, make it a wonderful day!
Peace, love and a steaming cup of Zen,