You’re cooler than me. 
But I’m smarter than her.
And she’s more attractive than him.
Ok, let’s stop the madness and start with a thought by one of my dearest friends:
Comparison is the exercise of the weak.
Think about that, then think about how often we compare in our world:
Which supermodel wears this dress better? Who has a better beach body? There’s even a Facebook application that allows you to compare your friends so you know who has the prettiest eyes, who’s the smartest, and who is most likely to be a good mother.
Besides being an exercise of the weak, comparison is also an exercise of the ego.
Your ego wants you to compare because it wants to know where you stand. Groundlessness, not knowing, is not something your ego is a fan of.
It wants to know how you rank financially, physically, emotionally, romantically. It also wants to know who you’re better than - the ego loves superiority!
Let’s be real, comparison certainly can be useful. When car shopping, for example, you want to know if car A has better gas mileage than car B. When choosing a college, it’s vital to know if college X is better than college Y in terms of what you want.
But when it comes to YOU as a person and people in general, comparison has no place.
Trying to compare people, in their beautiful unique forms, is like comparing apples and oranges. They’re in the same category, but can you really say that an orange is more pleasing than an apple?
(You can if orange is your favorite color, or if you don’t like apples…But for all intents and purposes, let’s just say you like them equally.)
They’re both fruits, they both taste great, but they each have something very unique to offer. Oranges provide loads of vitamin C, while apples are better known for their fiber content. You really can’t say one is better than the other, as you need the nutrients that each provides.
Ok, so we’re not fruits, we’re people…but do you get what I mean?
Each of us has something completely unique to offer the world, whether it’s our beautiful singing voice, our scientific genius or our ability to be an incredible mother – and our job is to deliver it.
Not only deliver it, but live it.
We’re not doing ourselves any favors by comparing ourselves to others. Sure, an onlooker might say that your neighbor is thinner than you are, but another might think that you are more beautiful.
See? No one really wins, because it’s all based on opinion. These aren’t facts, folks.
What about the comparisons that are based on fact?
- Income: Are you more creative when you make $50k a year versus $45k?
- Weight: Will you really finally be happy when you drop the 5lbs from last winter?
- Height: Are you kinder at 5’7″ than you were at 4’10″?
- Age: Are you more valuable as a person at age 23 than you are at 57?
See my point? Even the fact-based comparisons are stupid.
Who cares if your neighbor makes more money, or your sister is thinner than you, or you have laugh lines?
Let’s focus on the intangibles, folks: your creativity, your kindness, your intelligence – whatever makes you, you.
Whatever you are, you are on your own. You’re not beautiful compared to her, or smart next to a 3rd grader – you’re radiant, capable, intelligent, ____. Period.
Bask in your stand-alone beauty, intelligence, ____, and be the best you that you can be – don’t look at an apple and wish that you were less orange. 
Peace, love and a steaming cup of Zen,
- K
Ah such simple sentiments and yet so many of us struggle with this. I’m interested, do you struggle with this or have you arrived at a place where you no longer do it to yourself?
Hi Pea.
Comparison used to be a way of life for me – always wishing I were thinner, had better skin and smoother hair…I basically lived self-loathing because I wasn’t as ___ as someone else.
I’ve come a very long way…These days, I make an effort to love myself unconditionally – everyday. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t sometimes play the comparison game. It’s hard not to be jealous when a friend is making more money, or I see someone with perfect skin…But I try to remind myself that that’s just not my path. The one I’m on is mine – struggles and all. Everyone has theirs.
It’s definitely a process, one that starts with self-love…I’m getting there!
Thanks for reading!
K